March is “EVERYONE INCLUDED” month at Hazel Dell. Two weeks ago, I sent Part One of an article from Kids Health magazine. Part 1 talked about cliques and how parents can help their children if someone is mean or they feel exclud-ed from a group. This second, and final, part of the article talks about how to help your child develop healthy friendships.

PART 2—Encouraging Healthy Friendships 

Here are some ways to encourage kids to have healthy friendships and not get too caught up in cliques: 

Find the right fit — don’t just fit in. Encourage kids to think about what they value and are interested in, and how those things fit in with the group. Ask questions like: What is the main reason you want to be part of the group? What compromis-es will you have to make? Is it worth it? What would you do if the group leader insisted you act mean to other kids or do something you don’t want to do? When does it change from fun and joking around, to teasing and bullying? 

Stick to your likes. If your child has always loved to play the piano but suddenly wants to drop it because it’s deemed “uncool,” discuss ways to help resolve this. 

Keep social circles open and diverse. Encourage kids to be friends with people they like and enjoy from different settings, backgrounds, ages, and interests. Model this yourself as much as you can with different ages and types of friends and ac-quaintances. 

Speak out and stand up. If they’re feeling worried or pressured by what’s happening in the cliques, encourage your kids to stand up for themselves or oth-ers who are being cast out or bullied. Encourage them not to participate in any-thing that feels wrong, whether it’s a practical joke or talking about people behind their backs. 

Take responsibility for your own actions. Encourage sensitivity to others and not just going along with a group. Remind kids that a true friend respects their opin-ions, interests, and choices, no matter how different they are. Acknowledge that it can be difficult to stand out, but that ultimately kids are responsible for what they say and do. 

Remember to provide the big-picture perspective too. As hard as cliques might be to deal with now, things can change quickly. What’s more important is making true friends — people to confide in, laugh with, and trust. And the real secret to being “popular” — in the truest sense of the word — is for them to be the kind of friend they’d like to have: respectful, fair, supportive, caring, trustworthy, and kind. 

If your child is struggling to have these healthy friendships at school, please contact the school counselor or your child’s teacher. 

Thank you for all you do!

Mychael Irwin, Principal